Another way of taking away benefits!

Today I had the joy of going to my local Jobcentre to sign on. I hate signing on. Although some of the people who work there are very friendly, the system they have to work within creates an atmosphere that says your nothing. Your a waster. You are untrustworthy. Its bad enough that you have to jump through so many hoops just to get your pittance of JSA from them each fortnight, but now our useless Government or someone high up in charge of benefits has come up with a new way of penalising unemployed people.

As of next week the way you record your fortnightly job search is going to come under scrutiny and if you don't use the approved wording they will sanction your benefit for not doing your jobsearch correctly! By this they mean stop giving you your benefit because you are apparently not complying with the rules!! The JSA agreement states that you must provide evidence of your jobsearch every time you sign on. Now under this new ruling they can stop your benefit for up to 156 weeks (3 years!) if you do not use the correct wording on your jobsearch form. This is absolutely ridiculous! Here is an example: You can no longer state that you have looked on the internet and found no vacancies. You now have to say "checked but no vacancies". WHAT!!! I am sorry but even someone with a basic grasp of the English language can see this means the same thing. Yet if you put no vacancies you get sanctioned. If you write checked but no vacancies your fine! This ludicrous new ruling is being rolled out across the country at Jobcentres, each person being given two double side sheets of writing explaining these new rules. What a useful way to spend time and money!

According to these explanations if you don't use the correct wording this means your not doing your jobsearch correctly. Interestingly the examples they give do not show a single entry where no vacancies were found. So what do you put under the "what I will do next" column if there are no vacancies? Apparently saying you will keep looking or look again next week is now unacceptable. Excuse me???? Which idiot came up with this new rule! The explanation also states "repeatedly checking websites/papers that do not have vacancies cannot count as sufficient evidence for looking for work". Huh? So if we check a website one week and there are no suitable vacancies we shouldn't then check it the following week or the week after encase new vacancies have come up?? There is a flipping recession on, so there can be many weeks without any suitable jobs and then all of a sudden one week there will be one. If your not suppose to keep checking you would miss this job opportunity! Surely that would be bad job search! To add insult to injury, one of the websites you have to check regularly is the jobcentres job site. Its a mandatory requirement. However in the last 18 months there has not been a single suitable job for me. Under this new rule I should therefore stop checking it, however if I don't check it I am not abiding by the JSA agreement and my benefit could be sanctioned!!!!! What a contradiction!! Clearly this new rule and the explanation was written by a total idiot who has no idea of the reality of being unemployed in 2012!

In addition if you are told about a vacancy by your advisor but choose not to apply for it, you will now get sanctioned. If you refuse to attend yet another money wasting, pointless back to work course you will be penalised. If you leave a job or get sacked you are now penalised. If you are offered a job but do not take it and the Jobcentre decide this was a sufficient job offer you will be sanctioned. So basically if you exercise any of your rights to choose where you work, how much you earn, which jobs you apply for and how you lead your life you will lose your benefits. This is disgusting. It places far too much power in the hands of the Jobcentre and could potential force innocent people out of benefits and deeper into debt and poverty. How is this not treating unemployed people with disrespect? How is this not penalising people for being unemployed? From the information I was given today it just looks like a convenient loop hole for our poor excuse of a Government to reduce the benefits bill or the unemployment statistics by refusing to pay out money to people because they have worded their jobsearch evidence differently or do not wish to work in a job that they can't do!

I appreciate the welfare bill has grown astronomically in the last few years. However what did the Government expect would happen when they caused thousands of people to lose their jobs and didn't have the common sense to realise they needed to provide alternative employment for these people! They lose their jobs, and cannot find a job to go to so therefore they sign on for benefits and therefore that goes up. Its simple logic! Now to start penalising people and cutting benefits is not the answer. Surely these morons can understand if you want to get people off benefits provide decent jobs for them to go into where they can have some self-respect and earn enough money to live in a nice house, in a nice area where they can go out after dark without fear of being mugged, stabbed, raped or all of the above! Give them a sense of pride. Pride in themselves, pride in their home, their car and their work. Let them earn money which they can then spend on their house, car, children, holidays, leisure activities. Then all those places they spend their money will earn money and can afford to take on more staff. Then those staff will go out and spend their earnings and everyone will benefit. Taking away or finding new ways to sanction benefits is only taking away more from people, who already have very little.

People asked if after the Olympics that atmosphere of patriotism and pride in being British would last. Of course it wouldn't. The Olympics were like a holiday romance. Wonderful, enjoyable and exhilarating. But then the whole country had to come home, back to reality. Then just like a holiday romance it came to an end and we all had to remember how bad things still are, and how useless the Government is. The only way we can get that patriotism back is if individuals are given their self respect back. If they are given the chance to take pride in their lives. If they see a country to be proud off, instead of a country so up to its neck in the proverbial that it is drowning with the useless Government shovelling more on top!

So from now on I have to list every single website I look at for jobsearch, list every job I have investigated, every action I do for jobsearch and ensure I word it correctly and avoid saying there are no vacancies and I will keep looking. So as long as I there are no vacancies I will be fine! Oh dear..................!

Dissertation Saga Update!

I haven't mentioned by dissertation for a while, and with good reason! I have been working on it, but I have been besieged with set backs including health problems, job-seeking related issues, limited access to archives and a more general "my brain doesn't want to think" problems!! As a result I have lost approximately 2 months worth of working time. The completed dissertation was due in this week and as you can probably tell from the lack of fanfare, celebrations and general sense of relief, I didn't hand mine in.

Again there is a good reason for this; it ain't finished! Due to all the setbacks I am behind. Luckily my Course Leader and Mentor were both very understanding and have granted me a short extension. Its still tight on time, but far more realistic. On the downside it does mean that my dissertation will drift over into 2013 instead of being completed in 2012 as I had hoped. However this is a small chance it will be finished by December, but I am not going to kill myself and hand in something I am not happy with for the sake of a few weeks. After all at this point the only person it effects is me. I want a dissertation that I am pleased with and proud of. I am not going to rush it now and end up with something I will regret.

As a result I am still plodding along with research, reading, and writing, redrafting and stressing! However I am actually enjoying it again. For a while there I hated it and was so stressed it was affecting every part of my life. Now I have the extension, I can relax a bit and get back to enjoying it. I also produce better work when I am calm and relaxed so hopefully this is all for the good. A tense, anxious, stressed emotional me, was not a pretty sight and I think I annoyed all those around me constantly going on about it, and being edgy and snappy and tired!

However I am very lucky to have some very supportive friends. Even when certain people who should be supportive decide to be nasty and unhelpful, I can always rely on them. Special huge thanks to my bezzie mate http://sutleress.blogspot.co.uk/, Mummy Mo, Lillibet and even though he is hundreds of miles away, Andy. I am sorry if I am boring you guys, but this is huge deal in my life and means a lot to me. Your support, understanding and patience means everything, thank you.

So now back to the dissertation grindstone.

L.A.D = Life After Dissertation

Okay, so this is a little bit premature. I am still technically writing my dissertation. In fact I am suppose to be writing it at this very moment but due to circumstances that seem to continue to conspire against me I am not. I am calling this a "study break". Sounds better than "feeling extremely rough, fed up, stressed, emotional and can't see the light at the end of the tunnel"- break. I thought it might help cheer me up and feel more positive to think about Life After Dissertation or L.A.D for short.

To be honest, as much as I have mostly enjoyed doing my MA and my dissertation, I am looking forward to handing the finished thing in and completing my MA. In particular I am looking forward to all the things I will be able to do. I thought I would share with you my L.A.D Top 10 To Do List;
1. Spend more quality time with friends without feeling guilty that I should really be working on my dissertation.
2. Reading for pleasure! I have an ever growing pile of books that I want to read which has been growing since I started my MA course. I am looking forward to being able to read for fun! To get lost in a book and not have to make notes and think about the meaning behind it. I can just enjoy it!
3. Reading history books for pleasure. Basically same as above. I will get to indulge my interest in other historical subjects as well as the First World War.
4. Doing craft. I am really looking forward to being creative again and making my cards. I find it so therapeutic. Its relaxing and simply enjoyable.
5. Getting a full nights sleep on a regular basis. No more stressful sleepless or broken sleep nights! Yay!
6. Learning new craft stuff. I am desperate to try out the embossing kit my Mum got me, including the heat embossing and stamping. I also want to get back to knitting my squares to make my patchwork blanket and my bezzie mate is planning to teach me to sew. ( Not sure if that is entirely wise, but I want to give it a go - never thought I would hear myself say that!).
7. Spending time chilling out without any feeling of guilt about what I could or should be doing. Just relaxing.
8. Focussing on fighting my eating disorder. For the last few weeks this has fallen to the way side and I doubt it will recover properly or get back on track until after I have handed in my dissertation. By tackling my eating, if I have success this will hopefully in turn help and improve other health and weight issues.
9. Big sort out of my bedroom. With everything that has gone on lately my bedroom has become a bit of a dumping ground for stuff and the housework in this room has been kept to the minimum. Lots of paperwork to sort out, put stuff away and do some dusting. (I hate dusting!).
10. Working on my new idea for a potential project. Not going to say anything yet as it might not come to anything but I am looking forward to giving it a go!

I am sure there are lots of other things that I am looking forward to or will have to do, I just can't think of them at this point. This list of 10 are what leap to mind.

Well that did make me feel a bit more positive and excited about the idea of Life After Dissertation. However I still need to finish writing the flipping thing so I guess for now it's back to the writing!

Yoda goes home

Following the Dog Show a few weeks ago another big happening occurred in the evening. My bezzie mate finally told her children the big secret she (and others) had been keeping from them. They were getting a PUPPY! Not just any puppy but the super cutey Yoda, the long haired chihuahua that they had got to know and love through Nat and who they had helped show in the Junior Handling at the Dog Show.

It was an exciting night although I think us adults were a bit cruel. Nat had always told the kids they would get to say goodbye to Yoda when he finally went to his new home. So Nat and her Mum Sandy brought Yoda and his Mum Maisie round to my friend's house so that the kids could say goodbye to Yoda. This made them very sad and they spent most of the time cuddling him and stroking him. Nat and Sandy were staying for dinner to "give the kids time with Yoda"! Perhaps we were a little bit cruel keeping up this pretence but it did make the surprise even better!

After dinner we all sat together in the front room taking turns to have a "last" cuddle with Yoda. Then a while later Nat made the announcement he was going to his  new home. The kids became even sadder and missed the crucial moment when Nat picked up Yoda and handed him to my friend saying "here you go Yoda this is your new Mummy". Instead they thought she was having one last hug before he went. Despite all us grinning adults starring at them they still didn't click and I had to point out that I didn't think they had got it or realised what had just happened. After a little bit more explanation and "Yoda IS in his new home already" they finally realised and their sad little faces changed into huge glowing smiles - although still slightly shocked! It was brilliant!

Despite being reassured the kids still didn't believe Yoda was really theirs and kept asking was it a dream or was Nat going to take him home when they went to bed because it was just a joke! Bless! It was a very joyful evening. Seeing the smiles on everyone's faces and pleasure at the reveal working better than any of us could have hoped was just fantastic. After the kids went to bed my friend finally got to have a proper cuddle with her new arrival as after all Yoda is technically her dog now. After a bit more chatter and another cup of tea it was time for us to leave and leave her with her new puppy for his first night in his new house. It was very much like leaving someone on their own for the first time with a new baby! LOL!

It had been a brilliant day and evening and the secret was finally out! I am sure Yoda will settle in quickly to his new home, especially as all the excitement from going to his new family and his first night in his new house was taken all in his stride, bless him!

Welcome to your new home Yoda!

Fun Dog Show at the Polegrove for "Jack's Dream"

Maisie

August really is turning out to be a massively busy month.
A few days after my party a new friend of mine (Nat) had organised a Fun Dog Show at our local recreation ground - The Polegrove. The event was being held to raise money for a local charity, "Jack's Dream". So me and my bezzie mate and her kids went along to support Nat and the charity. Part of the event included a dog show with such classes as Cutest Puppy, Handsome Dog, Prettiest Bitch, Fancy Dress and Junior Handling. Nat shows her own dogs and regularly goes to local dog shows (and often wins) with her lovely long haired chihuahua Maisie and Chihuahua-Pug cross Pippi, so she is very experienced. Her dog Maisie also had puppies this year and two of those were still with Nat - the fabulous Shelby and the super cute Yoda.

The Fabulous Shelby

As Nat was the judge she couldn't enter her own dogs in the show encase anyone accused her of being biased. So instead my bezzie mate's kids and Nat's younger sister showed Maisie and the Pups in the Junior Handling class. This was allowed even though Nat was judging as the class looks at the kid handling the dog not the dog itself. The kids did very well and Nat praised them highly for their technique and focus. Sadly they didn't get placed in the top 6 but they did receive a rosette for taking part which said "Well Done" on it and each dog was given a packet of healthy treats. The kids enjoyed themselves and have already asked Nat if they could help show the dogs at future dog shows. I think its a great thing for kids to be involved with and the dogs seem to enjoy themselves too!

It was a really enjoyable day, the sun shone, it was lovely and warm and I spent most of the day dog spotting usually followed by "oos" and "awwws!". In fact as I commented on the day you could have easily completed an I Spy book of Dogs just from that show. There were so many different breeds and some gorgeous puppies. As we were sat under the judges gazebo where the sign up stall was for each class it also meant I got to get my fair share of cuddles and fuss from the dogs entering the classes!

The Super Cutey Yoda

Later in the afternoon we were also joined by another friend Cheryl and her kids as well as the lovely Archie - a shitzu and westie cross they were looking after. The kids were taken to the new adventure playground to burn off some energy while us adults sensibly sat in the shade with Archie and had a chat.

Archie!!

Archie is a lovely dog and it was nice to be around a Westie again. It reminded me of my lovely Dougal and how scatty and daft that breed can be!

The Dog Show was great fun although it did make me wish I still had a dog and reminded me how much I miss having a dog. However as I live in a flat its not really the ideal home for a dog plus I can barely afford to cover my own bills let alone the cost of a dog. However one day when I am living in a nice house and I have a good job I will get another Westie!

The Fun Day and Dog Show raised over £1,200 for "Jack's Dream" charity which was fantastic. Well done to everyone who worked so hard to put on the event.

My 30th Birthday Party Barbecue

The last two weeks have been extremely busy so I haven't really had a chance to update my blog and there has been a lot going on. First off was my birthday. I had a brilliant day with my Dad. We went shopping in all my favourite shops, I got a super cool new smartphone as my present from my Dad and we had lunch and dinner out. It was a very long tiring day but also a lot of fun and great to spend it with my Dad.

Then a few days later on the Sunday (12th) my bezzie mate threw me a 30th birthday party and barbecue at her new house. It was a lovely day and an extreme amount of work went into organising it and on the day itself. I am incredibly grateful. This gesture and the day itself meant so much to me that I honestly couldn't put what it means into words. It was excellent. I wouldn't have had a party otherwise so I am so very grateful for all she and her lovely Mum did. I also should mention the others that helped make the party happen - thank you, I am so touched!

Thankfully the day was nice and sunny - perfect for a barbecue. If anything it was a little too hot and we wouldn't have minded if it had been a bit cooler when we were setting up. Sadly not everyone who was invited was able to make it. A few friends had health and family issues which meant they couldn't come, while another had had his 30th birthday barbecue the day before and was still spending time with family. My Mum also couldn't make it due to health reasons and because of the distance she would have to travel. I was really disappointed as I would have loved my Mum to be there.

However all the people that did come to the party were important people to me and people I wanted to spend time with! My Dad and my Uncle Boy (and Ann) came along and stayed much longer and later than expected. I was also surrounded by great friends and four very cute dogs. They all made the day perfect.

The day was also filled with surprises!! Firstly was my fabulous birthday cake. I had spoken to my bezzie friend about the cake I would love to have if I could afford to get one made. It would be lilac with darker purple spots and a model of a Westie dog on top. However due to a lack of funds I had dropped the idea of a made to order cake and was going to chose an off the shelf one from a supermarket. A few days before the party my friend told me she had been to the local supermarket and picked one up. She then said I shouldn't have to choose my own birthday cake. I believed her 100% and crossed it off the shopping list. At my party it turned out this was a big fib! Instead she had had a cake made for me in the design I had said. I was so touched and the surprise was lovely! I totally did not expect it!

A short while after the cake reveal I was summons to the lower garden gazebo and there was a table set up with a pile of cards and a pile of presents! I was so surprised! Again I had not expected anything. After I opened the lovely cards I started on the presents. They were lovely presents including a DVD, stationery, book tokens and smellies. There was also a very large present which I left till last. It was from my bezzie mate, her mum, her Nana and her kids. When I opened it, I found this beautiful trunk/storage bog with a gold map design on it. It was stunning. I was speechless. Then I was told to open it up. Inside the box was a huge pile of presents! I was whatever comes after speechless! They told me I had 30 presents for my 30th birthday including the box, the cake and party. After telling them they had been very naughty doing this I started opening the presents inside the box. They were numbered and I had to open them in order. As I had trouble seeing the numbers and finding them in order my friend's daughter helped me out. They were fabulous gifts. I even got presents with 30 on such as a mug and a keyring. It was really lovely and a real surprise!!

After the yummy barbecue food had been eaten and it had started to get dark and the fairy lights had been switched on and the candles lit we decided to head inside. After cutting my birthday cake, we then got down to the serious business of karaoke! Yes, my 30th birthday party saw me doing karaoke for the second time in my life! It was brilliant fun and a real laugh. The alcohol certainly helped!! Everybody had a go at singing even Peter who could hardly see the words on the screen without his glasses, joined in and gave a great performance of "Imagine"! As I was the Birthday Girl I was given the "honour" of kicking the singing off! Luckily my fab friend Cat agreed to sing with me and together we had a go at "Don't Stop Believing". I was very grateful as she can actually sing which helped mask my less than in tune attempts! Throughout the evening I also badly did Atomic Kitten's version of "The Tide is High" (again with the lovely Cat) and my bezzie mate and I did "Can't Fight this Feeling Anymore" in honour of "Rock of Ages" the last film we saw together at the cinema.

The evening also saw a second round of food including home made potato skins, samosas and cheese and biscuits. The drink likewise continued to flow well into the evening.

It was a really really fabulous day and evening. I had a brilliant time and I am extremely grateful to everyone who contributed to it. They made it fabulous.

I will remember turning 30 with very fond memories.

Turning 30!

Today is my 30th Birthday.
30 years ago today at 1.15am in the morning I joined this world. It was a Sunday and my Mum had been in labour for two days. In fact in the early stages of labour on the Friday after her waters broke she wanted to go out with my Dad to get some dinner instead or going to the hospital as she knew the labour was going to take a while! Eventually I did arrive, and actually 2 weeks earlier than expected.

This is one of the earliest photos taken of me. My Mum is holding me and by the looks of the sofa she is at home which means I am about 2 weeks old as back in those days new mum's were kept in hospital for a couple of weeks after having a baby. I do have a few photos of me in hospital with my Mum and Dad but none of us look very good and I don't think they would thank me for sharing them!

For the first 7 years of my life I grew up in a normal 1980s household with my Mum and Dad. They owned a few curtain shops around Essex and spent a lot of time making them work. I can't remember many of my birthdays from then, although I know I had a Wimpy birthday party when I was about 4 or 5 and a party in a hall with a magician and a disco when I was about 5 or 6. I don't really remember them but I have seen the photos and heard the stories.

Then about 2 months before my 7th Birthday my parents divorced. I cannot remember my 7th birthday at all. For my 8th birthday I remember I had a McDonalds party which included for some strange reason getting to run into the big freezer they used to store the food in and getting a tour of the kitchens. Nope, I don't know why either! This was the last birthday party I had. Future birthdays were spent going out to places, visiting relatives and a few depressing times going fishing. I spent my birthday's alternating between my Mum and Dad, so parties were never really possible. Plus money was not exactly flooding in and parties cost money!

When I was 13 I was taken out for a meal, like a proper grown up birthday celebration! It was with my Dad, Ann and my lovely Aunt Gina. Our table had loads of balloons on it and after dinner they brought out a cake and sang Happy Birthday. It was a really lovely occasion. I don't remember my other teenage birthdays. I know that I didn't have a party for either my 16th or my 18th. In fact I think I ended up going bowling with a few friends and family for both of these! My birthdays were always celebrated just not with a "do".

One of the biggest problems with celebrating my birthday is that it falls right in the middle of summer. It was always difficult to organise anything with people going on holidays, invites needing to go out in July before the end of school, etc etc. When I went off to uni I had similar problems as everybody went home from June until the start of the next academic year at the end of September. When we lived in houses a few friends did come back for my birthday and we would go out for drinks.

When I was 21 I did have a party, well a barbecue at our house anyway! I shared my 21st with my close friend Andy who was also turning 21. Our birthdays are 8 days apart so we picked the weekend in between the two to celebrate. We had a great day and laughed a lot. Needless to say I can't remember much of that one either but that was for entirely different reasons!! Hahaha!

Since then I have had my "birthday outings" which as I mentioned in a previous post, were a special day out to do something different on my birthday to make it different from all the other day's of the year. Previous outings have included Hampton Court Palace, Dover Castle and Canterbury. I have some fantastic memories from these days and also got to tick things off my ever growing to do list!

So how will I be celebrating my 30th? Well today I am having my usual "outing" although its not a big deal as it usually is due to circumstances. Instead the emphasis is on spending the day with my Dad and enjoying some father-daughter quality time. We are going out shopping (he is getting me a new mobile phone for my birthday as my one is so old it is powered by coal!) and we are going to have lunch out. Then in the evening he is cooking me one of my favourite meals. My Mum has also sent me a very large parcel which I will be opening later! I wonder what it can be!

My birthday celebrations do not end there. On Sunday my bezzie mate is throwing me a birthday party and barbecue at her new house. We have got decorations, balloons, gazebos, music, fairy lights, even games and karaoke! Plus of course food and drink! I am really looking forward to Sunday as I really wanted a party and didn't think I was going to be able to have one, so its a wonderful gesture. I am so grateful to her for doing this.

If these celebrations were not enough a week later I am meeting up with my close friend Andy who is back visiting from Singapore and we are carrying on the tradition of celebrating our birthday's together as he too of course will be turning 30 in a few days time! So really I am going to have something like 3 birthday celebrations for my 30th! Perhaps that is one for each decade! Teehee!

I am sure I will have plenty of photos and lots to tell you about my celebrations which I will try to put on my blog as soon as possible.

So for now, I am off to enjoy turning 30!